Quos Amor Verus Tenuit, Tenebit
by Nagini Crimson
Summary: DISCONTINUED! Remus reflects upon a past love, a notsosecret tryst, and problems to come in his love life. SSRL, SBRL, LMRL. RR please.
1. These Foolish Games are Tearing Me Apart

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Foolish Games

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Songfic to 'Foolish Games' by Jewel.

"Foolish Games" Copyright 1994-1996, Wiggly Tooth.

All rights reserved.

Harry Potter characters are property of J.K.Rowling, Warner Bro.s, etc.

Copyright: who knows when!

I own only the plot and it is based off a song, as stated above.

Slashfic. Male/Male sex implied.

Rated: PG-13

I tried for angst. With my non-existent writing talent I don't think I pulled it off though. 

*sigh*

Always next year.

*sniffle*

****

I'M ONLY FOURTEEN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

*sobs*

^.^

I felt like doing a romantic/angsty Christmas fic. So nyah! ^.^

And I love this song.

Remus/??? 

But you will most likely guess very easily and very shortly down.

Remus stood by the dark window; glass fogged over from the chilly air outside, making it hard to make out any distinct shapes outside. Remus sighed deeply as he lowered himself into his favorite, yet ragged, armchair. It was by no means uncomfortable and the fabric was soft to the touch after constant use. Propping up his weary feet, he relaxed and brought his hot mug of tea to his lips. It was a calming Chamomile... that had been the only tea _he_ could ever stand.

He sighed, looking up at his mantle clock and noticed that it was half past midnight. It was finally Christmas day. Remus' least favorite day of the year. There were too many memories. And most were horrible memories at that. Especially the ones where... _he_ was concerned. It was this day, exactly seventeen years since that awful night. And then there was that cruel reminder of what he could not have, only three short Christmases ago. Thankfully that time, he had to stay in his quarters all of Christmas. It was a full moon that night.

__

You took your coat off, 

And stood in the rain.

You were always crazy like that.

He had always been so breathtakingly mysterious, somehow different from everyone else, yet still being able to blend in. When Remus asked him what his favorite season was, the answer ended up being 'summer', but only because it rained most often then.

He always loved the rain.

__

I watched from my window,

Always felt like I was outside,

Looking in on you.

Remus never did quite get him. There was this... aura about him that just compelled Remus to sit back and observe his every moment. Instead of comforting the lycanthrope... it only made him feel more of an outsider. It was as if he were looking through one of those mirrors, where only one person could look upon the other, as if looking through plain glass. Remus could watch and observe him... but could never reach the man. Not in the way he truly wanted to. And _he_ couldn't see Remus. There was always that damned mirror in the way.

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You were always the mysterious one,

With dark eyes and careless hair; you were- 

Fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care.

Not many people could see through the exterior, into his heart. Not even Remus himself, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much Remus _ached_ for that knowledge; that wondrous feeling and sense of security that only a true love can create. There was always a dull ache in Remus' chest. _he_ had every bit of his lover, body, soul, and heart, while Remus held nothing of that magnitude for his love. _He_ was always calm and aloof, no matter where he went, no matter what company he held.

And it always looked as though he truly cared about Remus. It really did. Yet it was merely a cruel faced played on for his cruel amusement.

__

Then you stood in my doorway,

With nothing to say,

Except some comment on the weather.

When he had first tried coming onto Remus, he had been so confident that he'd say yes. And his expectations were justified. Remus had been staring after him at school for the past few weeks like a lost puppy. But Remus supposed that maybe he didn't realize just how in love Remus was with him; how completely taken he was with that black haired boy. But by then he was no longer a boy. He was a man... and he couldn't wait for Remus.

Maybe he actually tried. Perhaps there had been another reason why- no. It was simple. He never loved Remus.

It had to be that simple. Or else Remus most likely would still be with him. No matter what had happened, as long as he had loved Remus back.

__

Well in case you failed to notice,

In case you failed to see,

This is my heart, bleeding before you,

This is me down on my knees.

Remus pushed his mug back to take another soothing sip of tea and found the cup empty. He had drained it already.... Standing up slowly, Remus set down the cup on the kitchen counter, and preceded to lock his apartment door and put out his lights.

Slipping in-between the sheets, Remus almost cried. Oh the irony. These were... hose sheets were the very last sheets _he_ slept in, the last time he spent the night with Remus. He could almost feel the ghost of a kiss lingering on his cold, dry, and chapped lips and Remus pressed two fingers to his lips in remembrance. Pressing his head against the thin pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut at the painful memory. And the worst part... was that Remus would do anything to be able to have that night again, even if for only one night. But that was impossible now.

__

These foolish games are tearing me apart,

And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.

Breaking my... heart.

Looking back, Remus can't tell why he never realized that he was using him beforehand. Remus' heart was ripped open and strewn aside and Remus he didn't want... no he _couldn't_ want to fall in love again.

Again? That's a cruel joke. How is it possible to fall in love _again_, when you've never fallen _out_ of love? Why did everything have to be so hard? So painful? Every memory, every last shred of _him_ that was left caused such sorrow for Remus, but if he were to loose these last shreds of his lover... well then Remus would most likely move on.

But that notion was more frightening than Remus would prefer to admit.

__

You were always brilliant in the morning.

Smoking your cigarettes, talking over coffee.

Your philosophies on art, Boroque moved you.

You loved Mozart.

In the morning after a particularly long love-making session he would insist on coffee rather than Remus' usual tea. Remus never did grow accustomed to the strong beverage... but he loved those mornings. He could go on for hours about Bach and Mozart and homophonies in the music that was written and played; back, long ago. He would light cigarette after cigarette, always puffing on one in the morning, only removing the toxic stick from his mouth to take a sip of coffee or stop to talk for a few minutes on end.

Remus loved hearing his voice; personally feeling that his lover didn't speak enough. That was one of the things the young man had first noticed about _him_. that deep sultry voice. The voice that sounded as if it could entrance even the most beautiful of veelas into a stupor.

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And you'd speak of your loved ones, 

As I clumsily strummed my guitar.

Remus would practice on the guitar that he received for his birthday from _him_ on the frigid, mid-winter afternoons, meanwhile that smooth voice would talk about his sister and how she was doing and what was going on where and all about his colleagues at work. He never let Remus cuddle with him though- unless they had just finished having sex... and then he would give in to Remus' whims. The sandy-brown haired man couldn't seem to get enough time with his 'other half'.

Remus clutched at his chocolate brown comforters and pulled them away from himself angrily, sitting up in bed. He had to _stop_ dragging up these memories. He made himself miserable every Christmastime until he was near sick with grief. In the morning he would be spending Christmas with his Harry and Sirius. His _family_.

The only people still alive who never abandoned him for what he was and loved him unconditionally. Yes... They _were_ his family, in almost every aspect of the word.

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Excuse me, 'cause I've mistaken you for someone else.

Someone who gave a damn!

Somebody more like myself.

Those last word that he had hissed at him, dismissing him like the animal he chose to see Remus as.

"What would I want with a werewolf in my bed every night? Pleading with me, _begging_ me to screw you senseless. You're nothing but a dirty beast Lupin; a _werewolf_. And the next time I see you I won't hesitate to kill you. Now _get_. _Out_." He had hissed sinisterly, pushing Remus away. 

No matter what efforts Remus made to contact him- the letters were always returned unopened. He cut himself off of the floo-line and avoided public places like Diagon Alley like the plague. Then after James and Lily died... Remus stopped sending the letters altogether.

__

These foolish games are tearing me-

You're tearing me, you're tearing me apart.

Your thoughtless words are... breaking my heart.

Remus sat on the edge of his bed, sobbing into his hands. He hated Christmas.

__

You're breaking my heart.

After a good long while, Remus' sobs finally died down to just crystalline tears spilling down his ivory face, flowing from his eyes like a fountain and dripping onto the sheets.

_Those_ sheets.

Remus hated Christmas. Especially since it had been seventeen years since his last Christmas with Severus.

__

You took your coat off,

And stood in the rain.

You were always crazy like... that.

****

Was it okay? Hopefully if I get around to it I'll be posting Sevvie's side of the story, then a final one to end it all up nicely. Either that or this'll be a one shot. I was just SO inspired listening to that song OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

PLEASE tell me if it was good or not.... I've never really been good at writing anything with any depth. All of my work is crap and I have no doubt this is too. *sigh*

By the way: If you are going to flame, flame only because you don't like how I write... not what I wrote ABOUT. And if you DO flame me with a nasty little fireball at least leave a way for me to reach you. Like SIGNING IN.

^.^ Review please! Boost my confidence? A little bit? Please?


	2. Let's Dance (Bailamos)

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Let's Dance (Bailamos)

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Songfic to 'Baliamos' by Enrique Iglesias

"Baliamos" Copyright to I have no freaking clue, but it sure as hell isn't MINE.

All rights reserved. Duh.

Harry Potter characters are copyrighted to J.K.Rowling, Warner Bro.s, etc.

Not me.

The plot is mine though! ^.^

Okay not REALLY. It's sort of inspired by 'Bailamos'. 

^.^

I hope I made this all SLIGHTLY sweet and romantic-y. If not...

Your problem- not mine.

Sex between MEN. a.k.a. SLASH- *SLIGHTLY* more explicit than just "implied" but still rated 'PG-13'!

This is er... dedicated to Scratches, who's going to be totally pumped ((\m/.\m/)) _what with me FINALLY writing a Remus/??? Ficcy. SHE KNOWS WHO. ^.^_

Or at least she should. She pesters me about it enough.

WOW! _I am in a huge Remus kick. The next fic short fic I'm going to write is also about Remus. And then a Sevvie one, and then a .... wait. I can't tell you that! ^.^ It'll ruin the surprise._

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***This is_ the second chapter in my 'Foolish Games_'_ universe... but you don't NEED to read it to understand the plot. Although I'd appreciate if you DID read it. *wink, wink*!***_

Note for anyone who has read my 'Foolish Games' songfic!:

The Sevvie P.O.V. to that one will either take me a little while to get out with.... 

Or it won't be a songfic. Sorry. I'm finding a hard song to use for the situation. 

*sniff*

And in case people don't speak Spanish and can't translate the Spanish part of the song, I'll write the English translation at the side of the Spanish lyrics. 

I'm not TOTALLY fluent, so for people who are- don't kill me if I butcher it up a bit.

Also... in this universe Remus is pretty much a GOD when it comes to guys falling in love with him. *sigh* Everyone loves our Reemie! And of course we can't forget all of those females! Crush-alert! Crush-alert! Hehehe!

And I feel bad for Sirius.

*sniffle*

DAMN THE "he" PRONOUNS! .!!!

Remus stepped into the flashy nightclub apprehensively. Sirius had dragged him down to the best, (and only), wizarding dance club in Scotland. Sirius, having grown up right outside of Aberdeen, knew that this particular spot was great for meeting new people.

"It's also great for you to get over that greasy slimeball," Sirius had said, trying to convince Remus into coming. After Severus sent him on his way, Remus had been sobbing himself to sleep every night, and Sirius hated seeing his friend like this. So now Remus was decked out in clothes flashier than anything Remus had ever worn in all of his nineteen years; muggle too. But according to Sirius, all of the patron here dressed in muggle clothing for dancing...

"Robes just don't show enough skin," he had insisted. So now Remus was wearing black slacks that fit perfectly on him, showing off his bum quite nicely too, as Sirius had mentioned. He wore a tight, bright blue shirt that matched his eyes, and sparkled slightly when the light hit it just right. Sirius had lent him a spare leather jacket as it was quite chilly out that night

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Esta noche bailamos (This night we dance)

Te doy toda me vida (Unlike any day(?))

Quèdate conmigo (If you will stay with me)

Sirius paid the entrance fee and pulled Remus' arm. Before running off to find someone to dance with, he whispered seductively into Remus' ear:

"Save a dance for me, Moony." After Sirius grinned ferally, he ran off, leaving Remus to find a nice barstool to sit at and drink. He sighed as Sirius left... the Animagus always had a slight crush on Remus... but Remus never felt the same way. Sirius was too much like family to date him. Not to mention that Remus was still pining over Severus. As Remus maneuvered himself around the gyrating dancers on the floor, he sat down at an empty bar seat. Someone with a sweet smelling cologne stepped up tot he bar next to him and quickly ordered a shot of Vodka, and seated himself down next to the werewolf.

"Remus Lupin. Fancy seeing you here," he said silkily, a grin lightly traced his soft pink lips and he turned to look at him. Remus lifted his head from the counter and looked at the young man. It was Lucius Malfoy. Remus could tell immediately from the shocking silver/blonde hair that spilled down around his face

The blonde Slytherin had been four years ahead of Remus and his friends in school and he sometimes hung around Sever- er... Snape. Remus and Lucius met in Malfoy's seventh year- just when Remus started spending more time with Snape. Otherwise Lucius would never have known his name.

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Tonight we dance.

I'll leave my life in your hands.

We take the floor;

Nothing is forbidden anymore.

He smirked at the blue-eyed boy, piercing silver clashing against the periwinkle blue. Lucius lit a fag, bringing it to his lips for a long drag of smoke as his drink arrived.

"Smoke?" he asked, trying to win in some conversation. Remus shook his head 'no'.

"No thank-you. I can't stand them, actually." Remus made a slight face, unaware he had done so. The first time he ever tried to smoke a cigarette he was coughing for a quarter of an hour afterwards, then regurgitating his lunch, all the while Severus sighed and told Moony that he should have listened to him when Severus told him not to inhale the smoke.

He took another drag and twirled his shotglass around slowly in one hand.

" I heard 'bout you and Sev," Lucius said, pulling out his cigarette and inspected it a moment, staring at the red embers as the kept eating at the tobacco and paper. Remus bristled a the remark. Severus never let anyone but Remus call him 'Sev'.... Even that one time Severus' sister called him that he had yelled at the poor girl. "Shame really. You two must have been such _cute_ couple. Sorry about the break." He sure as hell didn't _sound_ sorry. Remus made a noncommittal grunt in response to hearing him and Lucius smirked. He put out his cigarette, smothering the flaming heat.

"Dance?" he asked Remus, motioning to the dance-floor while an upbeat pop-song flowed through the magical speakers. Remus looked up in surprise.

"I'm not really in the mood to dance tonight, Luciu-" but he was cut off.

"Nonsense!" Lucius grabbed Remus' arm as he quickly downed his vodka and pulled the younger man out to the floor; a sea of mixed faces dancing to the music.

"Oh I don't know, Lucius, I mean..." he said, but gasped in surprise when Lucius leaned into him, pressing his warm body against Remus'.

"Shut up...." Lucius spoke not harshly, yet seductively, pulling Remus as close to him as possible.

__

Don't let the world in outside.

Don't let a moment go by.

Nothing can stop us tonight!

Bailamos; let the rhythm take you over-

Bailamos!

Lucius' body moved with the werewolf's, moving faster and faster with the beat of the music. Remus wasn't expecting this sudden... _hunger_ that Lucius was acting on towards him.

Remus never knew. Severus did though. Severus knew about Lucius' morbid fascination with Remus. And he did the smart thing. The second time Lucius had seen Remus was when the youth was seventeen. And Lucius knew he had to have the scrawny boy. He lusted after him, he _wanted_ him badly. And was _going_ to get him.

Two songs later, Remus finally got away from Lucius to sit down, the Slytherin following after. He wasn't used to being that... _close_ to someone. Especially a someone who he hardly knew.... And especially since that someone knew Severus.

But then again... because Lucius knew Severus... maybe that was what was feeding that feeling that was making him _want_ to be that close to him. Or maybe it was just the hormones of an eighteen-year-old male who hadn't gotten any for two months.

__

Let the rhythm take you over;

Bailmos! Te quiero, amor mio. (You are the one I want, my love)

Bailamos! Wanna live this life forever;

Bailamos! Te quiero, amor mio,

Te quiero! (I want you)

The only problem... was that Lucius' lusty feelings had turned to love. Love. Ah, who needs it? Lucius most _definitely_ lusted over Remus... but the oddest part was that Lucius would gladly spend the rest of his life with him. And him being a _werewolf_ and all too. That was Lucius' fetish. Having sex with a wild animal- yet a human one. Being in bed with a dark creature, like a vampire, gave him an adrenaline and complete testosterone rush.

But Lucius was going to married within the month. To some normal, _Ravenclaw_, pureblood _witch_. Lucius hadn't liked sleeping with girls since he was nineteen. He'd only sleep with a female nowadays if she was some sort of dark creature. But he needed an heir. An heir for his bloodline. And an heir for his master.

__

Tonight I'm yours.

We can make it happen, 

I'm so sure. I won't let it go.

There's something I think you should know.

I won't be leaving your side

We're gonna dance through the night.

Lucius ordered some more vodka... this time for Remus. He knew he would need to loosen him up at least a little bit to convince to Gryffindor to bed him. Remus was a bit apprehensive to drink the alcohol... he new exactly was Lucius' intentions were by now. Lucius never did anything without a purpose... or so he had heard from Severus.

__

Bailamos! 

Let the rhythm take you over; Bailmos! 

Te quiero, amor mio. (You are the one I want, my love)

Bailamos! Wanna live this life forever;

Bailamos! Te quiero, amor mio,

Te quiero! (I want you).

Remus finally accepted the beverages, but after two shot and a beer, he refused anymore. If he was going to sleep with Lucius he was going to remember it.

Besides. It would be good to sleep with another man. Maybe it would help him get over Severus. And then he'd have something to compare to. Maybe sex was _that_ mind-blowing with _all_ men. Maybe Severus was different... it was entirely possible he was just completely wonderful because that's how sex with men _was_.

It couldn't be because Severus _loved_ Remus. It couldn't be. Or he wouldn't have left.

__

Tonight we dance.

Like no tomorrow.

If you will stay with me.

"Maybe we could go somewhere... a bit more private?" Lucius spoke suggestively. Remus smiled.

"Let me just tell Sirius.. he brought me here. I wouldn't want him to worry where I am," he said, standing up, swaying slightly. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk so much, after all. Lucius nodded, following the man... no- werewolf. Sirius was gyrating against some busty girl, his eyes concentrated on her chest and not on her face.

"Siri?" he said, trying to catch the horny male's attention. Sirius looked up sharply at the familiar voice.

"Hey Moony- what's _he_ doing with you?" Sirius asked angrily. Remus sighed gave Sirius an understandable-between-only-those-two look. "Fine." He sighed, defeated. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?" he asked hopefully, the girl now confused. Remus nodded with a smile and Sirius went back to dancing with her ask Lucius left with Remus.

"Just a close friend of mine.... Yeah...." Remus heard Sirius explain to his conquest for the night as he was pulled out of the throng.

__

Quèdate conmigo (If you will stay with me)

Esta noche (Tonight...)

Bailamos (We dance).

They ended up going to Remus' house, it was small and mostly bare... but it was comfortable and it had a bed. That was what counted.

Pushing Remus against the wall of his bedroom, Lucius pressed his lips fiercely against the other male's. Tugging at his lower lip, the blonde tugged Remus' shirt up just enough to slip his hands underneath it to get to the smooth flesh. There was a battle for dominance between their tongues. Lucius finally won dominance over Remus and straddles him on the bed. Lucius pulled his tight crimson shirt off over his head and tossed it aside. Remus' hands ran over the paler man's skin, wanting more; needing more. Lucius pulled at Remus' shirt, which also went flying across the room after it was stripped from its owner.

Lucius wiggled his hips, pushing himself onto Remus, causing him to gasp in ecstasy.

__

Bailamos! 

Let the rhythm take you over; Bailmos! 

Te quiero, amor mio. (You are the one I want, my love)

Bailamos! Wanna live this life forever;

Bailamos! Te quiero, amor mio,

Te quiero! (I want you)

When Remus woke up he was alone. Sighing into his pillow, he sat up and pulled his wand from the floor which had fallen off of his bedside table in all of the... excitement. He preformed a quick cleaning spell to the soiled sheets and got out of bed, stepping into the bathroom for a steamy shower.

'_Last night was... wow..._' he mused to himself under the pelting droplets of water, pulsing down from the shower head and pooling around his feet until they successfully ran down the drain. The usually articulate man had no other words to describe last night, except '_wow_'. It was simply amazing.

The only problem though... was that it wasn't as breathtaking... it wasn't as pleasurable... as sleeping with Severus. That proved it once and for all for Remus... he truly loved that greaseball.

And he hated himself for it.

__

Como te quiero (How I want you)!

Ay, como te quiro (Oh how I love you)!

Te quiero... (I want you...).

****

((Lucius has some unresolved mental issues, ne?! Meep! *hides from Luci* Poor Remus. He can't get any without thinking of his lovey-Sevviekins! *sniff* And Sirius is just getting turned down by Remus.... WHA!!!!! *bawls* PLZZZZ review!!! ^.^))

Please?

__

P.S. LOL!!!!! My spell-checker wanted to make 'slimeball' into 'slicable'!!! *bursts into a fit of laughter* 


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